Caffe Greco, Sante Fe, NM
I write to you today from a new found space of recognition. It is quite extraordinary what can happen in 10 days when you are paying attention. I continue to be sculpted by the One True artist. I am learning new rules and protocols for living a life of spiritual devotion. Of course, I am uncomfortable being the “new kid,” and I mean this in the most literal way. I am learning, seeing for the first time. What is different is the awareness, affording myself leeway to make mistakes —a revolutionary concept considering I never realized my fear of making mistakes. Thankfully I am in an environment that so graciously wants me to learn, and thus I feel safe to embody the playfulness and wonder of a child learning for the first time.
I am adjusting to the flow of living at the mother ashram in Espanola, NM. It is all a social experiment. In theory my daily schedule begins at 2:45am for yoga and meditation followed by a full day of seva (selfless service) and evening classes. The energy is potent from a subtle point of view. When acclimating to any environment out of our norm it takes time, and while doing my best to acknowledge this period of change, I was swept up by my feet, and tossed into the spin cycle of the washing machine. For a moment I lost myself not knowing which way was up or down, the same way a powerful ocean wave can toss you around. It’s jarring when you lose balance. Only after the fact, when you have made it back to your center do you realize where you have been.
Today I was able to reestablish my footing. I taught a Kundalini yoga class this morning and was reminded of my role as the teacher. In this reflection now I can be the observer and recognize how I am teaching myself through these humble life experiences.
Sante Fe, NM, a short 20 minute drive from where I am staying, is full of artists, vibrant conversations, welcoming vibes, and a certain ease in the air. I have dedicated Saturdays to myself: a time for exploring, self care, and such activities like writing or catching up on social media. These days have fulfilled me in ways unimaginable, reminding me of the infinite expressions of joy that are present when we are open.
The more I push myself, focused on devotion and service, the more I receive creatively. By this I mean, the masculine structure sets the boundaries for the feminine Shakti to flourish. There is balance.
I have shifted in my perspective towards pressure. Learning to apply flexibility at great lengths has taught me to work with pressure in a dynamic way that is supportive, not detrimental. It takes pressure to make the diamond.
Tomorrow I have the blessing of making prasad, a delicious sweet offering made of ghee, flour, honey and water. By the grace of Guru I surrender in complete service and allow the essence of creativity and devotion to be fully expressed.
In alignment with the new moon, I offer my intention to empower and uplift myself as a queen born to serve her destiny. May the element of fire set aflame my soul’s desire for Truth and launch the sacred vision for all of life to flourish and prosper.